


Orochimaru is Petty

by irltenten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irltenten/pseuds/irltenten
Summary: XOXO,Orochimaru
Kudos: 8





	Orochimaru is Petty

**Author's Note:**

> kfjdskl;ajf ok so this was based on like 50 tweets of mine bc i cant get over my petty Orochimaru hc :^)

Kabuto rushed into Orochimaru’s chambers, a vile in hand, and said, “Lord Orochimaru, I found the cure.”

“Good, good, my sweet Kabuto,” Orochimaru responded, sounding akin to a Disney villain. “Now all we need to do is let that Uchiha know.”

Kabuto watched as Orochimaru got up and walked over to the table, where a single sheet of paper, an inkwell, and a brush sat. He quickly hurried to accompany Orochimaru there as he knew he would need to proofread the letter his dear master was about to write before he sent it off. He watched as Orochimaru stared at the paper in thought for a few seconds before he quickly picked up the brush, dipped it in the inkwell, and got to work. As he wrote, Kabuto grasped onto every bit of genius Orochimaru put into the letter. After a few minutes, he put the brush back down and smirked.

“Are you done, Lord Orochimaru?” Kabuto asked.

Orochimaru nodded and motioned for Kabuto to read what he had just written. He quickly grabbed the sheet of paper and began to read it out loud:

“This is for Itachi, you big fat, genocidal nasty, smelling fat bitch. My condolences. I heard you’re terminally ill with Dumb Bitch Syndrome. Maybe if you let me take your body that wouldn’t’ve happened. Well, anyway, luckily my much-cooler-than-you-stupid-Akatsuki-bitches pupil was able to find a cure to your otherwise incurable sickness. Too bad I’d never give it to your fat, smelly ass. Hope you enjoy dying a slow and painful death. That is if I don’t take over your stupid brother’s body first and fucking destroy you and your dumb Shark-Boy-headass partner before then. Though, I do want you to suffer as much as possible you dumb nasty bitch, so maybe I won’t. Anyway, while I have your attention could you make sure to tell my dumb, Chucky doll lookin’ ass old partner that I say hi. Oh, wait, he’s already dead, like you’re going to be very soon. Guess who never dies though, bitch. Me! Because I’m the baddest bitch in this entire goddamn ninja world whether or not I have your stupid red fucking eyes. Have a good couple weeks until you drop dead like the little bitch boy you are.

XOXO,

Orochimaru”

“So, Kabuto, what did you think?” Orohimaru beamed.

Kabuto smiled, “This is perfect. I really think you got the point across about how fat, stupid, and irrelevant him and the rest of the Akat-suck-i are. Should I send it out now, Lord Orochimaru?”

Orochimaru nodded.

After Kabuto tied the letter to a carrier pigeon and sent it off towards Itachi, him and Orochimaru watched it fly away. As they watched, they thought of how hard Itachi was going to cry and how much of a little pissbaby he was. Once the pigeon was out of sight, Orochimaru took the cure Kabuto had slaved away making for weeks and smashed it on the ground, once again leaving Itachi incurable just as he should be.


End file.
